"Hey, I'm a notary, so I've got that going, too!"

Yes, the esteemed Lieutenant Governor of Alaska, on a break from his strip mall-opening duties, has decided that I pass muster to be a notary public. Watch out: once I get my seal, I'm gonna be notarizing shit left and right. And center. I feel like wearing a green eyeshade.

Now if only I could issue apostilles--a boy can dream, can't he?